Review- Movie 43
Wow... This Movie... Shocking.
I have never been so shocked by a film in the way i was while watching this
one, it was disgusting, cheesy and just plain stupid with no redeeming features
at all, I'm surprised they were able to get such a great cast and do absolutely
nothing with them.
The film is basically a string of short films that don't connect at all, with a
silly main story line interweaving them all which is also utterly pointless and
has no payoff at all.
I'm going to go through the skits in
order and review them all:
The Thread: The Thread is the main plot that links everything together,
about 3 teenagers trying to find the infamous "Movie 43" which is supposedly a life changing video, which
turns out to be a warning to them, to not watch Movie 43 because it'll destroy
the world. This was such a bad skit, it is the main story but was probably one
of the weaker stories because it hardly had a humor in it at all and there was
no mystery about "Movie 43"
because I just didn't care!
The Catch: This skit was so cringe worthy and embarrassing for the
actors involved, Beth (Kate Winslet) goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh
Jackman), the city's most eligible bachelor, Davis looks like the perfect man
until he takes his scarf off... revealing the TESTICLES he has dangling from
his neck... Yep...
I just didn't understand why this was supposed to be funny, it was horribly
cheesy and just stupid and i was extremely surprised two huge actors agreed to
do this skit.
Homeschooled: Out of all of these terrible skits, I thought this one was
the best, that's not to say it's good at all, but it just the better shit than
the other shit. It had Liev Schrieber & Naomi Watts playing a couple who
home school their child, but want the child to have the high school experience,
so bully him endlessly. There were a few funny parts in this skit, like the
parents having a house party and not inviting their kid got a laugh out of me,
i had seen this kind of thing before but it was a lot more enjoyable than any
of these other skits.
The Proposition: Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris
Platt) are a couple who have been going out for a year and Doug is going to pop
the question to her, but before he gets to ask, she asks for Doug to defecate
on her in the bedroom... Oh dear, i honestly have no idea where they came up
with these ideas and that they thought people would actually laugh at this
terrible idea.
Veronica: I thought this skit was one of the worst
ones and didn't really understand it, it's about a check out guy called Neil
(Kieran Culkan) who is working a night shift, when his ex-girlfriend, Veronica
(Emma Stone), come through his line and the two begin arguing with each other,
the argument quickly becomes more sexual and the joke is that Neil left the
intercom on so all the shoppers are hearing their conversation, Hahaha... it's
as funny as it sounds! After Veronica leaves in tears, the customers agree to
look after the shop while Neil goes to find Veronica. I thought this would be continued
later on because of the ending but nothing else happened with the sketch, i
think they could of come up with a better ending than that and once again the
sketch underutilized the actors they had to work with.
iBabe: A rip-off company of apple have made a product
called, The iBabe, a naked woman which
also functions as a mp3 player. The boss played by Richard Gere is getting a
lot of complaints over the placement of the fan on the iBabe which is located
in the genital religion because teenage
boys are mangling their penises who attempt to have sex with them. The board
members make a new advert telling people not to touch the genital area. Another
unfunny skit which is completely random and stupid, not much to say about it
really!
Superhero Speed Dating: Robin (Justin Long) is doing speed dating in
Gotham City, when Batman (Jason Sudeikis) seeks out a bomb threat that had been
called in at the speed dating establishment by their nemesis, Penguin, while
Robin is trying to find his one true love, including; Lois Lane (Uma Thurman)
and Supergirl (Kristen Bell) who turns out to be the Riddler in disguise, which
Batman already had figured out and was screwing with Robin who had been kissing
him. This could of been a really fun sketch but there was something off about
it, maybe it was because i had already given up on this movie at that point and
just switched off but i think it could of been a lot funnier and once again it
had a great cast that they did nothing with!
Middle school Date: I don't even want to talk about this one because it was
so gross, Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (Chloe Grace Mortez) are on a date,
Amanda realizes she is menstruating for the first time and tries to hide it,
soon Nathan and his brother find out and start freaking out over it and try to
find objects to stop the bleeding with. This one was another vulgar, disgusting
one, that wasn't trying to go for smart laughs it was trying to go for low brow
humor which i didn't like at all, especially seeing cute, little Chloe Grace
Mortez smearing blood on the walls...
Happy Birthday: Pete (Johnny Knoville) has slept with Brian
(Seann William Scott) girlfriend and as a present captured a leprechaun (Gerald
Butler) and is demanding for the leprechaun's pot of gold. The leprechaun says
that his brother is coming to save him (also played by Gerald Butler), which he
does hidden, in a pot of gold, he attacks Brian and Pete but they kill both
leprechauns and they take the gold, Pete also got Brian a fairy who gives
blowjobs for gold coins, how convenient!
This skit was okay, I think Gerald Butler is a pretty terrible actor but i
enjoyed him as a leprechaun for some reason! But overall, another pointless
skit.
Truth Or Dare: Donald (Stephen Merchant) & Emily
(Halle Berry) are on a date in a Mexican restaurant, Emily is bored of all generic first date
questions and makes Donald play truth or dare with her, the game starts with
silly truths but then they ramp it up by doing ridiculous dares like getting
breast enlargements and getting a penis tattooed onto Donald's mouth, the only
one i found funny was Emily blowing out a blind child's birthday cake candles
before the kid could, (I'm a fan of cruel humor) This sketch had its funny
parts but was dragged out too long.
Victory's Glory: I had really given up on the film
and this point and absolutely hated this skit, Terrence Howard played a
basketball coach for a all black team that was worried about losing to an all
white team, Coach thought that it was ridiculous that they were worried, saying
things like "You can beat them with your footlong dick" just horribly
stereotypical things like that really angered me and made this one of the
weakest skits of the bunch.
Beezel: The credits started to roll and I was happy
this terrible film was over, until another sketch began!
directed by James Gunn who directed "Super" (which I think is a great
film) i had slight hopes for this one for some reason, but once again I was
utterly disappointed;
Beezel is an animated cat, who is jealous of Amy's (Elizabeth Banks) and
Anson's (Josh Duhamel) relationship. But
the cat is not jealous because it is not getting all the attention anymore it's
because Beezel loves Anson, at one point in the skit, Beezel masturbates over
photos of him! That's the great kind of humor used in this sketch! This sketch
seemed even more out there than the others because it also included animation,
which could of been done much better, but the film just doesn't care!
This film is the worst film I have ever seen, just random skits
tied together, none of them good, wasting such great actors, just terrible, if
these skits had been YouTube videos it would've worked a lot better and
probably would have gone viral but they tried to make a film out of them and
that's where they messed up, I hope to dear God that there will never be a film
to outdo this one with its terribleness
0.5/5
